Rashad - Baltimore, Maryland
1.) What made you finally decide to make the transition?
I did enough research...mentally and spiritually I wanted to be comfortable in my own skin as my true self. I felt that I prolonged it because of the fear of how I would accept me. If I was not comfortable with me then how could people around me be [comfortable with me].
2.) What were some of the things you had to do to prepare for your transition?
Reassuring myself that I was ready... I did A LOT of research, talked to many people that are going through transitioning, and just jumped out there.
3.) How does your family feel about your decision?
They hate it. But they love me. It’s a battle for them as well as myself.
4.) How do the women you date feel about your transition?
I tend to date women more in the Bisexual/ Queer community. I find that they are more accepting of the idea then most lesbians.
5.) Do you believe that not having “bottom surgery” will make you any less of a man?
I am a MAN. Equipment is just a tool. Bottom surgery is just a physical enhancement.
6.) What has significantly changed about your life since beginning the transition?
I see people in a different light now. I’ve noticed that my tolerance is very low for certain things.
7.) How did the event for Trans Men impact your life/decisions?
Going to the Trans health conference gave me more confidence. It was a great place for networking. It also motivated me to come out to my family and I did it that weekend.
8.) Do you think events like these are necessary to build unity in the T community?
Yes. I believe people see the bigger picture. No matter where you are in your transition, everyone has the common goal.
9.) Do you think there is more unity in the T community than the lesbian community?
No. There’s a lot of competition in the T community. For some of us image is everything and if you’re not at a stage in your life where you pass [as a man], a lot of shade is thrown.
10.) Why do you think some lesbians don’t or won’t accept Trans Men?
I believe that most can’t handle the change in their secure world. Pressure from society is a bitch.
11.) Have you felt any shade from your lesbian counterparts?
Many lesbians that have been in my life reject me because of my decision. I am and will always be ME. But they overlook that for the physical.
12.) What advice would you like to give to those who are contemplating doing what you have done?
Find your true self. No one can tell you who you are and how comfortable you are in your skin. At the end of the day this is a lonely journey and all you have is YOU. So make sure you can handle yourself because the world is waiting for you to fail.
I did enough research...mentally and spiritually I wanted to be comfortable in my own skin as my true self. I felt that I prolonged it because of the fear of how I would accept me. If I was not comfortable with me then how could people around me be [comfortable with me].
2.) What were some of the things you had to do to prepare for your transition?
Reassuring myself that I was ready... I did A LOT of research, talked to many people that are going through transitioning, and just jumped out there.
3.) How does your family feel about your decision?
They hate it. But they love me. It’s a battle for them as well as myself.
4.) How do the women you date feel about your transition?
I tend to date women more in the Bisexual/ Queer community. I find that they are more accepting of the idea then most lesbians.
5.) Do you believe that not having “bottom surgery” will make you any less of a man?
I am a MAN. Equipment is just a tool. Bottom surgery is just a physical enhancement.
6.) What has significantly changed about your life since beginning the transition?
I see people in a different light now. I’ve noticed that my tolerance is very low for certain things.
7.) How did the event for Trans Men impact your life/decisions?
Going to the Trans health conference gave me more confidence. It was a great place for networking. It also motivated me to come out to my family and I did it that weekend.
8.) Do you think events like these are necessary to build unity in the T community?
Yes. I believe people see the bigger picture. No matter where you are in your transition, everyone has the common goal.
9.) Do you think there is more unity in the T community than the lesbian community?
No. There’s a lot of competition in the T community. For some of us image is everything and if you’re not at a stage in your life where you pass [as a man], a lot of shade is thrown.
10.) Why do you think some lesbians don’t or won’t accept Trans Men?
I believe that most can’t handle the change in their secure world. Pressure from society is a bitch.
11.) Have you felt any shade from your lesbian counterparts?
Many lesbians that have been in my life reject me because of my decision. I am and will always be ME. But they overlook that for the physical.
12.) What advice would you like to give to those who are contemplating doing what you have done?
Find your true self. No one can tell you who you are and how comfortable you are in your skin. At the end of the day this is a lonely journey and all you have is YOU. So make sure you can handle yourself because the world is waiting for you to fail.
Chelsea - C.T
1.) Do you think society has become harder on you once you embraced the role as Dom?
Honestly, no I don't. For whatever reason I felt like society was a lot more harsh prior to me "coming out". For me, I feel like it has been easier since stepping out as a Dom.
2.) At what age did you know you were into girls and what did you do to deal with these feelings?
I don't remember the age, I know I was young ; somewhere around 10 or 11. I realized after one of my cousins came out. As far as my feelings go, I just dealt with them. I kept them suppressed because I wasn't sure how to go about telling anyone that I was gay.
3.) Did you find it difficult to transition into the lesbian sub-culture? Why or why not?
I didn't find it difficult at all, because I already had family and a multitude of friends submerged in the culture. It was sort of like a "Welcome Home, What took you so long" feeling. I had plenty of people on my side.
4.) Do you find yourself associating more with Doms or Femmes? Why?
I guess by nature I associate more with Doms, I relate to them more but I hate to be confined within a box. I hang with Femmes too. They are people after all.
5.) Do you ever see yourself getting married? Why or why not?
Yea, I'm a bit of a sap. I'm definitely planning on getting married just because the game gets so old and repetitive. At my young age of 22, I feel like I've played it already and I'm tired of it. I'm definitely going to settle down with the RIGHT one.
6.) Do you think there’s really unity in the lesbian community? Why or Why not?
I believe that there is, I mean it has it's breakdowns like any community due to petty arrogance and egos but overall, I do feel like it's definitely a nice coalition. I'm glad to be a part of it, more often than not the lesbians I meet, we often become rather good friends. I think it's almost better than the heterosexual world because it's so much more open and inviting.
Elijah -
1.) Why is there such an unwritten vow of secrecy in the T-community? If you guys are so proud of your decision, why conceal who you use to be to people and avoid talking about it altogether?
I think a lot of it has to do with safety. I am pretty open about being
Trans, but I also don't advertise it. Also, I was pretty miserable before
I transitioned, and I think for a lot of people they were not happy
either. Why talk about an unhappy point in your life? I can't speak for
anyone else and I suppose I was never aware of any "vow of secrecy." It varies from person to person I guess.
2.) Do you feel that members of the white T-community are more accepting of each other than the Black community? Why or why not?
Honestly, I'm not sure. Personally I hang around with mostly gay men of
both colors and have found acceptance from both. I also don't think I have
knowledge of what a black trans guy goes through, so I don't think I have
a good reference as to how to answer this question. Not sure if that
answers your question, but I don't have much experience with the trans
communities in DC. For some reason I find more acceptance from the gay
male community than the trans community.
3.) Do you feel that lesbians react negatively towards the T-community because of lack of knowledge or some other factor? If another factor, what?
I have seen some negative reactions from lesbians, but I certainly don't
think that includes all lesbians. I don't know too many lesbians, as I
have stated before I feel most comfortable in the male gay community.
4.) Do you tend to date straight women or women in the life? Why?
I date gay (cis and trans) males. And I guess the reason why is simply…
that's who I'm attracted to.
5.) How often do you take T? Have you ever experienced negative side
effects if so, what were they?
I take androgel every day. I haven't experienced any side effects.
6.) At what age did you realize you were in the wrong body?
I knew at a young age (maybe 3 or 4) that something was different. I used
to fight with my mom when I was little about feminine things (wearing
dresses, playing with dolls, etc.) I didn't have a name for it until I was
22, but I knew at an early age that I was not a girl.
7.) When you began your process, where and who did you turn to for
support?
A very select group of friends and my family. I attended a trans group for
awhile but I haven't been back for several years. Not sure why.
8.) Do you generally avoid lesbians? Why or why not?
No, not at all. I don't have very many lesbian friends, but I certainly
don't avoid them. I guess since I am attracted to gay men, that's who I
associate with the most. Also, I am in recovery and the meetings I attend
are primarily gay men.
9.) What's some advice you can give to a young member of the T-community?
Be true to yourself and do whatever you feel is appropriate for you. If
hormones and surgery are what you feel comfortable with, go for it. But
don't feel like you have to do what other trans guys are doing to fit in.
You are a beautiful person and being trans is nothing to be ashamed of.
Find those people who love you and stick with them. They may not be trans,
as I have found out. Just be you and don't be afraid to ask for help.
I think a lot of it has to do with safety. I am pretty open about being
Trans, but I also don't advertise it. Also, I was pretty miserable before
I transitioned, and I think for a lot of people they were not happy
either. Why talk about an unhappy point in your life? I can't speak for
anyone else and I suppose I was never aware of any "vow of secrecy." It varies from person to person I guess.
2.) Do you feel that members of the white T-community are more accepting of each other than the Black community? Why or why not?
Honestly, I'm not sure. Personally I hang around with mostly gay men of
both colors and have found acceptance from both. I also don't think I have
knowledge of what a black trans guy goes through, so I don't think I have
a good reference as to how to answer this question. Not sure if that
answers your question, but I don't have much experience with the trans
communities in DC. For some reason I find more acceptance from the gay
male community than the trans community.
3.) Do you feel that lesbians react negatively towards the T-community because of lack of knowledge or some other factor? If another factor, what?
I have seen some negative reactions from lesbians, but I certainly don't
think that includes all lesbians. I don't know too many lesbians, as I
have stated before I feel most comfortable in the male gay community.
4.) Do you tend to date straight women or women in the life? Why?
I date gay (cis and trans) males. And I guess the reason why is simply…
that's who I'm attracted to.
5.) How often do you take T? Have you ever experienced negative side
effects if so, what were they?
I take androgel every day. I haven't experienced any side effects.
6.) At what age did you realize you were in the wrong body?
I knew at a young age (maybe 3 or 4) that something was different. I used
to fight with my mom when I was little about feminine things (wearing
dresses, playing with dolls, etc.) I didn't have a name for it until I was
22, but I knew at an early age that I was not a girl.
7.) When you began your process, where and who did you turn to for
support?
A very select group of friends and my family. I attended a trans group for
awhile but I haven't been back for several years. Not sure why.
8.) Do you generally avoid lesbians? Why or why not?
No, not at all. I don't have very many lesbian friends, but I certainly
don't avoid them. I guess since I am attracted to gay men, that's who I
associate with the most. Also, I am in recovery and the meetings I attend
are primarily gay men.
9.) What's some advice you can give to a young member of the T-community?
Be true to yourself and do whatever you feel is appropriate for you. If
hormones and surgery are what you feel comfortable with, go for it. But
don't feel like you have to do what other trans guys are doing to fit in.
You are a beautiful person and being trans is nothing to be ashamed of.
Find those people who love you and stick with them. They may not be trans,
as I have found out. Just be you and don't be afraid to ask for help.
BJ - New York
1.) At what age did you realize you were into women?
Ummm, I want to say at a very early age. I don’t remember a # but I can say that I’ve always liked girls. I never saw it any other way and I dealt with it as if it was normal because in my eyes it was.
2.) What type of women are you generally interested in?
I would have to say that she has to have character; that means more to me because that’s what keeps me wanting you. Looks are second ( its important! ) but second. I love me a women who is heavy on the bottom if you get what I’m saying! :) and THEN brains. As long as there is common sense, we good.
3.) Do you ever see yourself getting married?
I definitely see myself getting married. I think it’s the most beautiful thing two people that love each other can share. I want to make that move in a few years and start a family as well.
4.) How do you feel about Trans Men?
I don’t feel no way. They are people just like us, who just happened to be unhappy with the way they were born. I feel like life is about happiness and if transitioning is what you need then by all means do it!
5.) How do you feel about s4s?
I’ma start out by saying that I did laugh at this question but I will also say I’ve been watching the YouTubes and reading the online articles and ummm I’m not saying I don’t understand it, I’m just saying that it’s not for me. It’s still girl on girl which are two lesbians but I think I don't see how things can work IF there are two dominate roles. Now if one isn’t so dominate than that’s different. It would be just like femme on femme.
6.) Do you think that there is unity in the lesbian community?
NOOOOOOO! Not at all. I see so much negative bullshit everyday and when I go out. I don’t go out as much as I used to BECAUSE of the community. They all are against each other and they don’t even know why. The fights are so immature. I wish they could get over themselves and gain some confidence and self security as well as respect. They make us all look bad and this is why most straight people or men don’t respect us. I can go on about this but I’ll stop here.
Ummm, I want to say at a very early age. I don’t remember a # but I can say that I’ve always liked girls. I never saw it any other way and I dealt with it as if it was normal because in my eyes it was.
2.) What type of women are you generally interested in?
I would have to say that she has to have character; that means more to me because that’s what keeps me wanting you. Looks are second ( its important! ) but second. I love me a women who is heavy on the bottom if you get what I’m saying! :) and THEN brains. As long as there is common sense, we good.
3.) Do you ever see yourself getting married?
I definitely see myself getting married. I think it’s the most beautiful thing two people that love each other can share. I want to make that move in a few years and start a family as well.
4.) How do you feel about Trans Men?
I don’t feel no way. They are people just like us, who just happened to be unhappy with the way they were born. I feel like life is about happiness and if transitioning is what you need then by all means do it!
5.) How do you feel about s4s?
I’ma start out by saying that I did laugh at this question but I will also say I’ve been watching the YouTubes and reading the online articles and ummm I’m not saying I don’t understand it, I’m just saying that it’s not for me. It’s still girl on girl which are two lesbians but I think I don't see how things can work IF there are two dominate roles. Now if one isn’t so dominate than that’s different. It would be just like femme on femme.
6.) Do you think that there is unity in the lesbian community?
NOOOOOOO! Not at all. I see so much negative bullshit everyday and when I go out. I don’t go out as much as I used to BECAUSE of the community. They all are against each other and they don’t even know why. The fights are so immature. I wish they could get over themselves and gain some confidence and self security as well as respect. They make us all look bad and this is why most straight people or men don’t respect us. I can go on about this but I’ll stop here.
Saequan - New York
- 1. What part has society played in your life’s decision?
- Society plays but a small part in my life. I embraced myself as a dominant man since I was young ; embracing yourself is the first step to taking control of your life and living.
2. Do you associate with a lot of Lesbians? - I find myself associating more with males and Aggressives.
3. What can you say about the T-Community? - I feel that Trans men need more air time. They need more support. They need more love and people need to know that Trans men exist. They are as normal as normal gets.
4. How do you feel about s4s? - There is nothing wrong with doms who date other doms. In reality, once clothes come off they are just two women. Being a lesbian does not just consist of whether you’re a Dom or Femme.
5. Do you believe that there is really unity in the lesbian community?- No. Everything has become so drastic. Now, you cannot ask a simple question about anything without it resulting in a fight or altercation.
Marquita- Baltimore, MD
1.) Do you wear men's clothes because you actually want to be a man?
No, I wear men's clothing because they are more comfortable to me than women's clothing. I've always liked men's clothing more; ever since I was a child.
2.) Does being in the masculine role ever feel restrictive?; Like you can't do certain things because it wouldn't be considered "macho".
No because I am who I am regardless of how I dress or what "role" I may play.
3.) Would you ever date a Dom? Why or why not?
Yes I would. In fact, I have. No different...still a female, but I prefer femmes.
4.) Often times other Doms are mean to other Doms for no reason, do you find yourself not being social with other Doms you don't know? why or why not?
I don't know why [some] Doms are that way. It's almost like when two alpha males enter an environment in the animal kingdom. They automatically feel like they have to fight for dominance in their surroundings. I'm not that way. I'm a very social person, but some Doms make it hard to be cordial.
5.) When you go out to job interviews do you dress like a femme?
I dress how I want to dress. I wear some slacks, button down, and some "slippery earls" lol. Why fake on the interview when my true persona is going to come out eventually.
6.) Do you still find men attractive?
I have no trouble admitting to an attractive looking man. Do I want to rip off my clothes and his and get busy...HELL NO!
No, I wear men's clothing because they are more comfortable to me than women's clothing. I've always liked men's clothing more; ever since I was a child.
2.) Does being in the masculine role ever feel restrictive?; Like you can't do certain things because it wouldn't be considered "macho".
No because I am who I am regardless of how I dress or what "role" I may play.
3.) Would you ever date a Dom? Why or why not?
Yes I would. In fact, I have. No different...still a female, but I prefer femmes.
4.) Often times other Doms are mean to other Doms for no reason, do you find yourself not being social with other Doms you don't know? why or why not?
I don't know why [some] Doms are that way. It's almost like when two alpha males enter an environment in the animal kingdom. They automatically feel like they have to fight for dominance in their surroundings. I'm not that way. I'm a very social person, but some Doms make it hard to be cordial.
5.) When you go out to job interviews do you dress like a femme?
I dress how I want to dress. I wear some slacks, button down, and some "slippery earls" lol. Why fake on the interview when my true persona is going to come out eventually.
6.) Do you still find men attractive?
I have no trouble admitting to an attractive looking man. Do I want to rip off my clothes and his and get busy...HELL NO!
Tesia - Florida
- 1) Do you feel that society is really harder on Gay and Lesbians?
- Yes. We have to fight for every right we have. It’s Bullshit! But Whatever. We will just keep fighting and holding ourselves up.
2) What type of women are you usually into?
I‘m mostly interested in studs. I Like Studs Because I Feel More Involved. They are A LOT More To Handle And I Crave That Aggression. :)
3.) Do you find yourself associating more with Femmes of Doms?
Femmes because Femmes Talk To Me More. I’d Prefer A Dom but I’m Too Shy To Hit Them Up First!
4) How was your first time with a woman?
My First Time Was Really Amazing I Remember The Night Perfectly. It Was Truly An Experience Worth While That I Would Never Regret It !
5.) Do you think that there is unity in the Lesbian community?
No. We Judge Too Much On looks To Join Together As A Community.
Alex--Post T--Long Beach, CA--alexislemus72@yahoo.com
At what age did you realize you were different and what made you realize it.
At the age of 6, I realized I was different by the way my family would constantly compare my sisters feminine characteristics with mine and seen that I would never meet those characteristics. I would always catch myself playing and rough housing with the boys, sharing the same interest with the boys, and wondering why I never looked like a boy. I felt as if the mirror was lying to me.
How did you come to terms that you weren't satisfied being a woman?
From the first time someone called me "she, her, girl", I knew I wasn't a woman.
Besides the obvious physical changes, do you think you have changed emotionally too? How so?
When I was taking "T" for about a year, my emotions felt a little more in control but through out that year I basically felt the same.
How long were you on "T" before you noticed the changes?
3 months
Patriarchy exists. Do you think you get more privileges now that you are a man?
I believe I have a greater chance of scoring hard labor jobs like construction, law enforcement, government and dock jobs. Society has equal judgment with sex in moderation.
Surgery to change the sex organs of people transitioning from male to female often look really natural and are indistinguishable from "real" vaginas. The same cannot be said for post-operation female to male sex organs. Do you feel this is a deterrent that prevents some people from getting the surgery?
Yes, I feel that deterrent prevents a lot of people from getting the surgery because the penis is not fully functional and doesn't have sensation at the tip, and the tip should be the best part to have feeling. Also doctors have to cut off for the extra skin. Personally, I would be satisfied with the Prosthetic. I don't want to take the risk of something going wrong and never having the chance to have sex again.
Have you gotten the surgery to change your sex organ or plan to? Why or why not?
I plan on getting chest surgery, that's it, genital surgery is too risky and very pricey. I believe I will feel like a whole man without my breasts.
After transitioning, some people feel that they don't belong anymore or have been pushed away by lesbians.
Do you feel like you're no longer a part of the lesbian community?
I don't feel like I've been pushed away at all but some of my lesbian friends don't like my decision and aren't supportive. I do, however, feel more fit in with the heterosexual community.
Do you date lesbian or straight women?
Straight women with open minds
Did the change in your hormones make you more or less attracted to men?
I have never been attracted to men and "T" didn't change my preference.
Do you feel more at peace with your life since deciding to become a man?
Yes, I finally feel like I am who I was meant to be.
Do you notice a difference in the way people treat you?
I actually receive more respect from men and less attention from lesbians and people of the gay community.
Do you still allow your woman to give you oral pleasure?
No, I don't. I only have sex with the prosthetic attached.
Would being fingered make you uncomfortable? Why or Why not?
Yes, I feel very uncomfortable because I don't like intercourse done to me in any form. Its not the fact of me being dominated or not. I just hate anything being inserted inside of me.
When out in public, how do you use the restroom?
I use the men's restroom, unless I'm feeling like I do not look manly enough that day, then I use the women's restroom. I've been kicked out of the women's restroom before so it can become an issue sometimes.
Do you wear dildos daily to get more of a feel for the real thing when/if you decide to get surgery?
Yes, I wear it everyday because I feel like a part of me is missing when I don't have it attached. But it can become uncomfortable at times, so I can go a day or two with out it.
At the age of 6, I realized I was different by the way my family would constantly compare my sisters feminine characteristics with mine and seen that I would never meet those characteristics. I would always catch myself playing and rough housing with the boys, sharing the same interest with the boys, and wondering why I never looked like a boy. I felt as if the mirror was lying to me.
How did you come to terms that you weren't satisfied being a woman?
From the first time someone called me "she, her, girl", I knew I wasn't a woman.
Besides the obvious physical changes, do you think you have changed emotionally too? How so?
When I was taking "T" for about a year, my emotions felt a little more in control but through out that year I basically felt the same.
How long were you on "T" before you noticed the changes?
3 months
Patriarchy exists. Do you think you get more privileges now that you are a man?
I believe I have a greater chance of scoring hard labor jobs like construction, law enforcement, government and dock jobs. Society has equal judgment with sex in moderation.
Surgery to change the sex organs of people transitioning from male to female often look really natural and are indistinguishable from "real" vaginas. The same cannot be said for post-operation female to male sex organs. Do you feel this is a deterrent that prevents some people from getting the surgery?
Yes, I feel that deterrent prevents a lot of people from getting the surgery because the penis is not fully functional and doesn't have sensation at the tip, and the tip should be the best part to have feeling. Also doctors have to cut off for the extra skin. Personally, I would be satisfied with the Prosthetic. I don't want to take the risk of something going wrong and never having the chance to have sex again.
Have you gotten the surgery to change your sex organ or plan to? Why or why not?
I plan on getting chest surgery, that's it, genital surgery is too risky and very pricey. I believe I will feel like a whole man without my breasts.
After transitioning, some people feel that they don't belong anymore or have been pushed away by lesbians.
Do you feel like you're no longer a part of the lesbian community?
I don't feel like I've been pushed away at all but some of my lesbian friends don't like my decision and aren't supportive. I do, however, feel more fit in with the heterosexual community.
Do you date lesbian or straight women?
Straight women with open minds
Did the change in your hormones make you more or less attracted to men?
I have never been attracted to men and "T" didn't change my preference.
Do you feel more at peace with your life since deciding to become a man?
Yes, I finally feel like I am who I was meant to be.
Do you notice a difference in the way people treat you?
I actually receive more respect from men and less attention from lesbians and people of the gay community.
Do you still allow your woman to give you oral pleasure?
No, I don't. I only have sex with the prosthetic attached.
Would being fingered make you uncomfortable? Why or Why not?
Yes, I feel very uncomfortable because I don't like intercourse done to me in any form. Its not the fact of me being dominated or not. I just hate anything being inserted inside of me.
When out in public, how do you use the restroom?
I use the men's restroom, unless I'm feeling like I do not look manly enough that day, then I use the women's restroom. I've been kicked out of the women's restroom before so it can become an issue sometimes.
Do you wear dildos daily to get more of a feel for the real thing when/if you decide to get surgery?
Yes, I wear it everyday because I feel like a part of me is missing when I don't have it attached. But it can become uncomfortable at times, so I can go a day or two with out it.
NATE--FTM--PRE-T--NATHAN.LOONEY@MSN.NET
At what age did you realize you were different and what made you realize it?
I was maybe 5 or 6 years old I started really noticing that I was different from my brothers. For example it took me a while to get over the fact that I couldn't pee standing up. I can't really say that there was one thing that made me realize I was different, it was more like a collection of things like wanting to play with my brothers toys but being given barbies to play with.
How did you come to terms that you weren't satisfied being a woman?
Probably around puberty I started to notice how uncomfortable I was a female. Changing in the locker room became something that caused a lot of stress for me, more so in the sense that I was somewhere I didn't belong.
Besides the obvious physical changes, do you think you have changed emotionally too?
I wont start T for another month, but when I finally admitted to myself that I was a TransMan my confidence went through the roof. Emotionally I have always been like a cis gender male, very level headed and not very emotionally expressive.
Have you ever been hit on by a gay man? If so, how did you feel and react to it?
Since a lot of my friends are lesbians I end up at gay clubs by default so every time I go out to a gay club I get hit on by gay men. I take it as a compliment when a gay man hits on me because 1. it means I pass as a male 2. it means I'm a good looking guy. If the guy approaches me I just tell him that I'm a straight TransMan.
Have you gotten the surgery to change your sex organ or plan to?
I plan to have phalloplasty sometime in the near future.
After transitioning, some people feel that they don't belong anymore or have been pushed away by lesbians. Do you feel like your no longer apart of the lesbian community?
I never really felt like I was a part of the lesbian community, I always felt uncomfortable calling myself a lesbian because it meant that I had to acknowledge the fact that I was a biological female.
Do you date lesbian or straight women?
I prefer to date straight women. A lot of lesbians don't want to loose their identity as such so they have a problem being identified as bisexual or straight. It's the same as if a lesbian decided to date a biological male.
If straight women, do you tell them that you were once a woman? Why or why not?
I always disclose that I'm a TransMan, I feel that it is only right to let the woman choose for herself if she wants to pursue a relationship with me. I would be living a lie if I didn't tell her.
Is your family and friends supportive in your decision? If not, who gave you the most grief?
My friends are extremely supportive. My family hasn't been too bad but my aunt that raised me took it pretty hard.
Do you still allow your woman to give you oral pleasure?
Sometimes
Would being fingered make you uncomfortable?
Yes, because there is something in me that says that I shouldn't be penetrated.
When out in public, how do you use the restroom?
I usually just use the stall in the men's room.
Do you wear dildos daily to get more of a feel for the real thing when/if you decide to get surgery?
Not a dildo, but I do wear whats called a packer everyday. I don't wear it to feel complete as a man, not really as a means of preparation for bottom surgery.
What would you say to someone who is struggling with their sexual identity but was scared to do what you have done?
I would tell them to reach out to someone in the trans community. Transitioning is very scary for most, myself included since you really don't know how your friends and family will take it but you get to the point where it becomes absolutely necessary. I would also tell them that family and friends come around with time and any friends that you loose as a result of your transition weren't true friends.
I was maybe 5 or 6 years old I started really noticing that I was different from my brothers. For example it took me a while to get over the fact that I couldn't pee standing up. I can't really say that there was one thing that made me realize I was different, it was more like a collection of things like wanting to play with my brothers toys but being given barbies to play with.
How did you come to terms that you weren't satisfied being a woman?
Probably around puberty I started to notice how uncomfortable I was a female. Changing in the locker room became something that caused a lot of stress for me, more so in the sense that I was somewhere I didn't belong.
Besides the obvious physical changes, do you think you have changed emotionally too?
I wont start T for another month, but when I finally admitted to myself that I was a TransMan my confidence went through the roof. Emotionally I have always been like a cis gender male, very level headed and not very emotionally expressive.
Have you ever been hit on by a gay man? If so, how did you feel and react to it?
Since a lot of my friends are lesbians I end up at gay clubs by default so every time I go out to a gay club I get hit on by gay men. I take it as a compliment when a gay man hits on me because 1. it means I pass as a male 2. it means I'm a good looking guy. If the guy approaches me I just tell him that I'm a straight TransMan.
Have you gotten the surgery to change your sex organ or plan to?
I plan to have phalloplasty sometime in the near future.
After transitioning, some people feel that they don't belong anymore or have been pushed away by lesbians. Do you feel like your no longer apart of the lesbian community?
I never really felt like I was a part of the lesbian community, I always felt uncomfortable calling myself a lesbian because it meant that I had to acknowledge the fact that I was a biological female.
Do you date lesbian or straight women?
I prefer to date straight women. A lot of lesbians don't want to loose their identity as such so they have a problem being identified as bisexual or straight. It's the same as if a lesbian decided to date a biological male.
If straight women, do you tell them that you were once a woman? Why or why not?
I always disclose that I'm a TransMan, I feel that it is only right to let the woman choose for herself if she wants to pursue a relationship with me. I would be living a lie if I didn't tell her.
Is your family and friends supportive in your decision? If not, who gave you the most grief?
My friends are extremely supportive. My family hasn't been too bad but my aunt that raised me took it pretty hard.
Do you still allow your woman to give you oral pleasure?
Sometimes
Would being fingered make you uncomfortable?
Yes, because there is something in me that says that I shouldn't be penetrated.
When out in public, how do you use the restroom?
I usually just use the stall in the men's room.
Do you wear dildos daily to get more of a feel for the real thing when/if you decide to get surgery?
Not a dildo, but I do wear whats called a packer everyday. I don't wear it to feel complete as a man, not really as a means of preparation for bottom surgery.
What would you say to someone who is struggling with their sexual identity but was scared to do what you have done?
I would tell them to reach out to someone in the trans community. Transitioning is very scary for most, myself included since you really don't know how your friends and family will take it but you get to the point where it becomes absolutely necessary. I would also tell them that family and friends come around with time and any friends that you loose as a result of your transition weren't true friends.
Crystal--N.Y.--Creative Designer--Follow: @Kicks_Kicks
Would you ever date a Dom?
I wouldn’t date a Dom because I love to be with a feminine woman and I'm naturally attracted to them. Dating a Dom is like dating myself it wouldn't work.
When you go out to job interviews do you dress like a Femme?
I don’t dress like a Fem but I don’t over do it with men clothes. I'll wear a loose fitted woman's suit though, because at the end of the day it is a job and you have to present yourself accordingly.
What is your opinion on straight women who have sex with lesbians or lesbians who have sex with men?
Straight women who have sex with lesbians are just having fun but if it continues then she's just straight up bisexual. Lesbians who have sex with men are posers. Being a lesbian this day and age is looked at as being ‘hot”. I met one woman who claimed she's a hardcore lesbians but was sexually active with dudes here and there.
Have you ever hit your woman?
In the past I have but it was an even draw. We both fought with each other. I usually never hit back but she pushed my limits.
Do you think less of feminine acting men or Doms?
Sometimes I do, but its not because I try, it just naturally happens.
I wouldn’t date a Dom because I love to be with a feminine woman and I'm naturally attracted to them. Dating a Dom is like dating myself it wouldn't work.
When you go out to job interviews do you dress like a Femme?
I don’t dress like a Fem but I don’t over do it with men clothes. I'll wear a loose fitted woman's suit though, because at the end of the day it is a job and you have to present yourself accordingly.
What is your opinion on straight women who have sex with lesbians or lesbians who have sex with men?
Straight women who have sex with lesbians are just having fun but if it continues then she's just straight up bisexual. Lesbians who have sex with men are posers. Being a lesbian this day and age is looked at as being ‘hot”. I met one woman who claimed she's a hardcore lesbians but was sexually active with dudes here and there.
Have you ever hit your woman?
In the past I have but it was an even draw. We both fought with each other. I usually never hit back but she pushed my limits.
Do you think less of feminine acting men or Doms?
Sometimes I do, but its not because I try, it just naturally happens.
Trix--Atlanta,GA--Designer--Godsecretweapon@gmail.com
If you have more than one sexual partner, do you use the same strap?
Yeah, I use a condom. My straps cost as much as ninety dollars so there’s no way I’m buying a new one for every chick.
Do you allow your woman to please you?
Yessir!...head head head! At the end of the day I gota’ nut too. I don’t get these touch-me-not studs because there aren’t any touch me not dudes.
Do you still find men attractive?
I never did find men attractive. When I was younger I always thought something was weird about me when my female friends would say “He cute” and I never could agree.
Besides the clothes, what really makes you different from a Femme?
My thought process. I don’t think in the delicate way a woman would. My attitude is not feminine at all and neither are my mannerisms.
Yeah, I use a condom. My straps cost as much as ninety dollars so there’s no way I’m buying a new one for every chick.
Do you allow your woman to please you?
Yessir!...head head head! At the end of the day I gota’ nut too. I don’t get these touch-me-not studs because there aren’t any touch me not dudes.
Do you still find men attractive?
I never did find men attractive. When I was younger I always thought something was weird about me when my female friends would say “He cute” and I never could agree.
Besides the clothes, what really makes you different from a Femme?
My thought process. I don’t think in the delicate way a woman would. My attitude is not feminine at all and neither are my mannerisms.
Sharde--student--Danbury,C.T--smcballa2286@aol.com
Would you ever let your woman use a strap on you?
HELL no I wouldn't let my woman strap up on me. Because I wouldn't enjoy it one bit. I run shit! I wear the dick!
Besides the clothes what really makes you different from a Femme?
I find myself not just lookin the part but actually thinkin masculine too. I could never be a Femme
Do you think you get certain privileges being in a dominant role than a Femme does being submissive?
Hell yea I get certain privileges or Femmes make it seem like we have privileges. But under it all they be the ones trying to run it behind the scenes.
When you lay next to your girl at night do you like to be held?
I usually hold her but I may wake up in the middle of the night and she's halfway holdin me.
Why is it that its ok for Doms to sleep around but if a Femme does it, she's labeled as a whore?
I don't think its ok. I think it goes both ways. Anyone that sleeps around is a whore.
HELL no I wouldn't let my woman strap up on me. Because I wouldn't enjoy it one bit. I run shit! I wear the dick!
Besides the clothes what really makes you different from a Femme?
I find myself not just lookin the part but actually thinkin masculine too. I could never be a Femme
Do you think you get certain privileges being in a dominant role than a Femme does being submissive?
Hell yea I get certain privileges or Femmes make it seem like we have privileges. But under it all they be the ones trying to run it behind the scenes.
When you lay next to your girl at night do you like to be held?
I usually hold her but I may wake up in the middle of the night and she's halfway holdin me.
Why is it that its ok for Doms to sleep around but if a Femme does it, she's labeled as a whore?
I don't think its ok. I think it goes both ways. Anyone that sleeps around is a whore.
ANTHONY--FTM--23--POST-T--MARYLAND--FACEBOOK.COM/AJAMIERE
What made you decide to want to become a man?
I wouldn’t call it deciding to become a man. I’ve always felt like I was a guy internally and I made a choice to let my outer match what I’ve always known.
Besides the obvious physical changes, do you think you have changed emotionally too?
I have actually learned to control my temper. I’ve mellowed out so to speak. Pre-“T” the fact that I didn’t pass as male made me angry and I’ve gotten into altercations because of it. But when the voice dropped it was ball game. My confidence also increased and the way I interact with people has made me more of an extrovert.
How long were you on "T" before you noticed the changes?
The day I took my first shot; maybe two hours after-wards my throat felt like I had a frog in it and my voice began to drop.
Some readers would agree that patriarchy exists. Do you think you get more privileges now that you are a man?
I do agree that it does exist, however being a part of the boy’s club does not necessarily mean the GOOD OLD BOYS CLUB. There is quite a difference in the way a young white male is viewed [opposed to] a young black male. So it really depends on you and how you would define privilege.
Have you ever been hit on by a gay man? If so, how did you feel and react to it.
I have. I get hit on a lot to this day. I don’t mind it. I’m really flattered and sometimes even flirt back. *smiles* yeah there goes that confidence thing again.
TransMen can sleep around and it is a non-issue or they are congratulated for their sexual prowess yet people with feminine gender identities are seen as whores. Do you think perpetuating this double standard is detrimental to the health of everyone involved?
If guys are unaware of their status, yes it is detrimental. He could be spreading more then his wild oats. I think the double standard is very limiting and quite sexist if you ask me. If a woman feels the need to be sexually expressive as a man does, it doesn’t make her a hoe, slut, etc. It makes her a grown woman with a very healthy sexual appetite.
Surgery to change the sex organs of people transitioning from male to female often look really natural and are indistinguishable from "real" vagina. The same cannot be said for post-operation female to male sex organs. Do you feel this is a deterrent that prevents some people from getting the surgery?
Yes it is a very big deterrent but definitely not the biggest. There are also some who feel like bottom surgery isn’t needed to feel complete as a man.
After transitioning, some people feel that they don't belong anymore or have been pushed away by lesbians. Do you feel like your no longer apart of the lesbian community?
While I have many lesbian friends, I’ve never really thought of myself as a lesbian. But dating wise I have been pushed away, especially when I first decided to start fully transitioning.
Do you date lesbian or straight women?
To be quite honest I date Queer or bi women. They seem to be more open minded when it comes to seeing the person and not worrying about orientation. The two are usually confused because the world is so caught up with putting a label on everything.
If you do choose to date straight women, do you tell them that you were once a woman? Why or why not?
When I meet woman that have no clue of my past I do eventually tell them. But this is only if I really want to pursue a relationship with them. Dating wise unless we are having sex or being intimate I don’t feel that needs to be discussed.
Did the change in your hormones make you more or less attracted to men?
I believe my attraction has evolved, and I’m less bothered by the thought.
Do you feel more at peace with your life since deciding to become a man?
I do. I actually feel a lot better know that I am living my life as the man I am. I don’t have to worry about being mistaken for a female dressed in boy clothes, but seen as a young man.
Is "T" expensive? Where would someone obtain some if they wanted it?
For about a 5-6 supply depending on your dosage $50-$65. If they’re any guys that are interested Chase Brexton Health Services here in Baltimore is one of the most knowledgeable resources in the city. They have a pharmacy in the building that I pick up my prescription from. You would have to go to therapy, receive a letter, go to the doctor and talk to them about the risk, changes…etc. **There are things that you should know before you get to this stage make sure to do your own personal research.** and do blood work. Once you have done all of that you can pick up your prescription. It is expensive at a lot of the bigger pharmacy chain stores.
Is your family and friends supportive in your decision?
For the most part my family is very supportive of my transition. I think my father is having the toughest time with the whole idea. But like most others in my family he’s hopefully going to come around.
Do you plan on having a family of your own one day?
Very much so. I feel like everyone was not made to be natural birth parents so I believe I am going to adopt. But if there is a way for my girlfriend to have a baby for me then we will have a child together.
Do you notice a difference in the way people treat you?
Yes people definitely treat me different. I am sadly a threat because I am a young black man. But on a Personal level I am respected, loved, and overall people are happier because I am happier.
What would you say to someone who is struggling with their sexual identity but was scared to do what you have done?
I would say that if you research you will find that you aren’t alone. There are so many resources and social networking sites that connect you with people just like you. You tube has vblogs of people taking the journey you may or may not consider taking. But you have the final say so in what you feel your truth is never let someone tell you who you are. isn’t your truth.
I wouldn’t call it deciding to become a man. I’ve always felt like I was a guy internally and I made a choice to let my outer match what I’ve always known.
Besides the obvious physical changes, do you think you have changed emotionally too?
I have actually learned to control my temper. I’ve mellowed out so to speak. Pre-“T” the fact that I didn’t pass as male made me angry and I’ve gotten into altercations because of it. But when the voice dropped it was ball game. My confidence also increased and the way I interact with people has made me more of an extrovert.
How long were you on "T" before you noticed the changes?
The day I took my first shot; maybe two hours after-wards my throat felt like I had a frog in it and my voice began to drop.
Some readers would agree that patriarchy exists. Do you think you get more privileges now that you are a man?
I do agree that it does exist, however being a part of the boy’s club does not necessarily mean the GOOD OLD BOYS CLUB. There is quite a difference in the way a young white male is viewed [opposed to] a young black male. So it really depends on you and how you would define privilege.
Have you ever been hit on by a gay man? If so, how did you feel and react to it.
I have. I get hit on a lot to this day. I don’t mind it. I’m really flattered and sometimes even flirt back. *smiles* yeah there goes that confidence thing again.
TransMen can sleep around and it is a non-issue or they are congratulated for their sexual prowess yet people with feminine gender identities are seen as whores. Do you think perpetuating this double standard is detrimental to the health of everyone involved?
If guys are unaware of their status, yes it is detrimental. He could be spreading more then his wild oats. I think the double standard is very limiting and quite sexist if you ask me. If a woman feels the need to be sexually expressive as a man does, it doesn’t make her a hoe, slut, etc. It makes her a grown woman with a very healthy sexual appetite.
Surgery to change the sex organs of people transitioning from male to female often look really natural and are indistinguishable from "real" vagina. The same cannot be said for post-operation female to male sex organs. Do you feel this is a deterrent that prevents some people from getting the surgery?
Yes it is a very big deterrent but definitely not the biggest. There are also some who feel like bottom surgery isn’t needed to feel complete as a man.
After transitioning, some people feel that they don't belong anymore or have been pushed away by lesbians. Do you feel like your no longer apart of the lesbian community?
While I have many lesbian friends, I’ve never really thought of myself as a lesbian. But dating wise I have been pushed away, especially when I first decided to start fully transitioning.
Do you date lesbian or straight women?
To be quite honest I date Queer or bi women. They seem to be more open minded when it comes to seeing the person and not worrying about orientation. The two are usually confused because the world is so caught up with putting a label on everything.
If you do choose to date straight women, do you tell them that you were once a woman? Why or why not?
When I meet woman that have no clue of my past I do eventually tell them. But this is only if I really want to pursue a relationship with them. Dating wise unless we are having sex or being intimate I don’t feel that needs to be discussed.
Did the change in your hormones make you more or less attracted to men?
I believe my attraction has evolved, and I’m less bothered by the thought.
Do you feel more at peace with your life since deciding to become a man?
I do. I actually feel a lot better know that I am living my life as the man I am. I don’t have to worry about being mistaken for a female dressed in boy clothes, but seen as a young man.
Is "T" expensive? Where would someone obtain some if they wanted it?
For about a 5-6 supply depending on your dosage $50-$65. If they’re any guys that are interested Chase Brexton Health Services here in Baltimore is one of the most knowledgeable resources in the city. They have a pharmacy in the building that I pick up my prescription from. You would have to go to therapy, receive a letter, go to the doctor and talk to them about the risk, changes…etc. **There are things that you should know before you get to this stage make sure to do your own personal research.** and do blood work. Once you have done all of that you can pick up your prescription. It is expensive at a lot of the bigger pharmacy chain stores.
Is your family and friends supportive in your decision?
For the most part my family is very supportive of my transition. I think my father is having the toughest time with the whole idea. But like most others in my family he’s hopefully going to come around.
Do you plan on having a family of your own one day?
Very much so. I feel like everyone was not made to be natural birth parents so I believe I am going to adopt. But if there is a way for my girlfriend to have a baby for me then we will have a child together.
Do you notice a difference in the way people treat you?
Yes people definitely treat me different. I am sadly a threat because I am a young black man. But on a Personal level I am respected, loved, and overall people are happier because I am happier.
What would you say to someone who is struggling with their sexual identity but was scared to do what you have done?
I would say that if you research you will find that you aren’t alone. There are so many resources and social networking sites that connect you with people just like you. You tube has vblogs of people taking the journey you may or may not consider taking. But you have the final say so in what you feel your truth is never let someone tell you who you are. isn’t your truth.
