1.) For some reason there is often little to no respect granted to the "B" in the LGBTQ community. Have you found it difficult being an advocate for the bisexual community? If so, in what ways?
It‘s really interesting. I didn’t start out being an advocate for the bisexual community specifically, even though I identify as bisexual. There aren’t many outlets or literature for bisexuals and, as I became more involved in bisexual-based groups on Facebook, I was often reminded of this. Members came to me and let me know how important it is for there to be a vocal advocate in the bisexual community. There are a plethora of advocates for gay men and lesbians – I’m sure most people outside of the LGBT community could name several from each. But ask a heterosexually-identified person who a famous bisexual is and they would probably pause and have to really think about it. There are many negative and false stereotypes associated with being bisexual, so for many who might otherwise identify with such a label, they might be reticent to do so because of those clichés. Just think of Cynthia Nixon who famously said she wouldn’t want to identify as bi because “nobody likes the bisexuals. Everybody likes to dump on the bisexuals.” All the more reason for those of us who are bisexual to come out more and disprove those negative falsehoods!
2.) Besides the obvious organs, what differences have you notices in dating a man from dating a woman?
The funny thing is, I don’t see a big difference. I look past genitals and see the person for who they are. This has allowed me to date those who identify with every label – female, male, femme, genderqueer, transgender. I love people regardless of gender.
3.) Would you or have you ever dated a Trans Man? If not, would you consider it? Why or why not?
Yes! I dated a person who identified as “genderqueer” and later came out as a transgender man. I am open to dating anyone because, again, I don’t care what is between their legs. It’s the personality and virtues of a person that count!
4.) Assuming that you are attracted to Doms, as a bisexual woman, do you find yourself attracted to them because their masculine demeanor reminds you of a man?
Well, I like doms, feminine women, all genders and sexualities. I have been in relationships with all labels. There have been times when I have played the more dominant role and sometimes when I have played the more submissive roles. I have the capacity to love many people across the gender and sexual spectrum.
5.) It is obvious that the Caucasian LGBTQ community is different from the Black LGBTQ community on what is and is not tolerated, accepted etc. In the Caucasian community, is the bisexual culture embraced amongst the lesbian culture?
This is a big problem. I’ve definitely encountered lesbians who do not want to date a bisexual woman because they assume we’ll run back to a man or that we cannot be monogamous. I’m not sure if that has to do with race; my inclination is to say that the trait of the bisexuals being seen as “slutty, non-monogamous and selfish” transcends racial boundaries. I feel it depends on how the greater LGT community perceives the B community. At the same time, I also know lesbians who love bisexual women and date them all the time. The fact is, the bisexual community has a long way to go to continue to dispel those negative perceptions I mentioned before that still persist for LGTs and society as a whole.
6.) How do you think we (we being the entire LGBTQ community) can build more unity amongst ourselves?
I really feel that the L & G communities need to embrace the B and T communities. While I don’t feel comfortable speaking specifically for the trans community, I feel that the bisexual community is completely left out of most conversations regarding civil rights. Just because we have the capacity to be in heterosexual-seeming relationships, does not mean we don’t have a stake in same-sex marriage or anti-discrimination in employment, for example; should we fall in love with someone of the same sex, we will face the same problems that the L & G communities face. Once the stereotypes stop and embracing begins, we can then have unity.
7.) Thus far, you've written 3 books, two of which are displayed prominently on Amazon.com - Choice and Queer Greer. Have any of your own personal experiences aided in the creation of these books?
Yes, to an extent. Queer Greer is a book that I wrote after broke up with the first girl that I had fallen in love with. I needed an outlet for that experience and heartbreak. I wrote the book that I would have loved to have read when I was coming into my own sexuality in high school and college, considering the dearth of literature available for bisexuals and the LGBT community in general.
Choice was inspired by the experience of a close friend of mine who faced the decision of keeping or getting rid of a pregnancy. I wanted to write a book that dug deeper into what goes into that choice, exploring the repercussions of both choosing abortion as well as seeing the pregnancy through and having a child as a teen mother.
8.) You also write for the Huffington Post, have been invited to speak at the PFLAG Tucson group, answer reader questions via YouTube… When do you have the time to rest? What motivates you and keeps you going?
I rarely rest! I have a Type A personality and would be honestly will a huge hole in my life if I was not involved in something during almost every waking moment! I also have a great deal of empathy and compassion for others, and I love to stay active in helping others. For example, I have been writing to a convict in Texas for the past three years and, through a vast amount of research, I feel that she has been wrongfully convicted, so on top of a day job, my writing and the like, I’m also trying to get her a trial. My motivation is my passion for helping others.
9.) Have you had the chance to really read through D.I.N Mag? We pride ourselves on informing our readers on every aspects of the masculine community. Have you learned anything from reading it that you hadn't known before?
I think D.I.N. Mag is very important for the LGBT community and society at-large because you are educating everyone on a section of the community that definitely gets left out and forgotten. I don’t feel like many people know as much about doms as other types of lesbians – like femmes, lipstick lesbians, and the like. Most people have heard of the term “butch” and likely associate more dominant traits to that label, but there is obviously so much more to doms than that. I’m learning a lot from D.I.N. Mag already – like differences between “hard-core” and “pretty-boi” doms, for instance. Keep doing what you’re doing! Education is key!
10.) Is there any advice that you would like to give to our readers who are in the process of self-publishing or just following their passion for writing and speaking up for what they believe in, as you have?
In terms of self-publishing, I have had a crazy path. I didn’t have much money when I started and was able to invest $300 in a shoddy self-publishing option that left me with a less-than-professional looking product at the end – that was the first edition of Queer Greer in 2009. When I was ready and able to invest a bit more money, I moved to an indie publisher that helped me revamp my book completely with a new round of edits, a professional cover design and a marketing plan. This path is not for everyone, as it can get pricey. There are also e-publishing options that barely cost a dime. If you are thinking of self-publishing, make sure you research companies that have clout. Be willing to get out there and market your title on your own. Just remember that marketing and PR is the keys to your success. Fortunately, with social media, these days it can be somewhat easier to find the audience you are looking for.
It‘s really interesting. I didn’t start out being an advocate for the bisexual community specifically, even though I identify as bisexual. There aren’t many outlets or literature for bisexuals and, as I became more involved in bisexual-based groups on Facebook, I was often reminded of this. Members came to me and let me know how important it is for there to be a vocal advocate in the bisexual community. There are a plethora of advocates for gay men and lesbians – I’m sure most people outside of the LGBT community could name several from each. But ask a heterosexually-identified person who a famous bisexual is and they would probably pause and have to really think about it. There are many negative and false stereotypes associated with being bisexual, so for many who might otherwise identify with such a label, they might be reticent to do so because of those clichés. Just think of Cynthia Nixon who famously said she wouldn’t want to identify as bi because “nobody likes the bisexuals. Everybody likes to dump on the bisexuals.” All the more reason for those of us who are bisexual to come out more and disprove those negative falsehoods!
2.) Besides the obvious organs, what differences have you notices in dating a man from dating a woman?
The funny thing is, I don’t see a big difference. I look past genitals and see the person for who they are. This has allowed me to date those who identify with every label – female, male, femme, genderqueer, transgender. I love people regardless of gender.
3.) Would you or have you ever dated a Trans Man? If not, would you consider it? Why or why not?
Yes! I dated a person who identified as “genderqueer” and later came out as a transgender man. I am open to dating anyone because, again, I don’t care what is between their legs. It’s the personality and virtues of a person that count!
4.) Assuming that you are attracted to Doms, as a bisexual woman, do you find yourself attracted to them because their masculine demeanor reminds you of a man?
Well, I like doms, feminine women, all genders and sexualities. I have been in relationships with all labels. There have been times when I have played the more dominant role and sometimes when I have played the more submissive roles. I have the capacity to love many people across the gender and sexual spectrum.
5.) It is obvious that the Caucasian LGBTQ community is different from the Black LGBTQ community on what is and is not tolerated, accepted etc. In the Caucasian community, is the bisexual culture embraced amongst the lesbian culture?
This is a big problem. I’ve definitely encountered lesbians who do not want to date a bisexual woman because they assume we’ll run back to a man or that we cannot be monogamous. I’m not sure if that has to do with race; my inclination is to say that the trait of the bisexuals being seen as “slutty, non-monogamous and selfish” transcends racial boundaries. I feel it depends on how the greater LGT community perceives the B community. At the same time, I also know lesbians who love bisexual women and date them all the time. The fact is, the bisexual community has a long way to go to continue to dispel those negative perceptions I mentioned before that still persist for LGTs and society as a whole.
6.) How do you think we (we being the entire LGBTQ community) can build more unity amongst ourselves?
I really feel that the L & G communities need to embrace the B and T communities. While I don’t feel comfortable speaking specifically for the trans community, I feel that the bisexual community is completely left out of most conversations regarding civil rights. Just because we have the capacity to be in heterosexual-seeming relationships, does not mean we don’t have a stake in same-sex marriage or anti-discrimination in employment, for example; should we fall in love with someone of the same sex, we will face the same problems that the L & G communities face. Once the stereotypes stop and embracing begins, we can then have unity.
7.) Thus far, you've written 3 books, two of which are displayed prominently on Amazon.com - Choice and Queer Greer. Have any of your own personal experiences aided in the creation of these books?
Yes, to an extent. Queer Greer is a book that I wrote after broke up with the first girl that I had fallen in love with. I needed an outlet for that experience and heartbreak. I wrote the book that I would have loved to have read when I was coming into my own sexuality in high school and college, considering the dearth of literature available for bisexuals and the LGBT community in general.
Choice was inspired by the experience of a close friend of mine who faced the decision of keeping or getting rid of a pregnancy. I wanted to write a book that dug deeper into what goes into that choice, exploring the repercussions of both choosing abortion as well as seeing the pregnancy through and having a child as a teen mother.
8.) You also write for the Huffington Post, have been invited to speak at the PFLAG Tucson group, answer reader questions via YouTube… When do you have the time to rest? What motivates you and keeps you going?
I rarely rest! I have a Type A personality and would be honestly will a huge hole in my life if I was not involved in something during almost every waking moment! I also have a great deal of empathy and compassion for others, and I love to stay active in helping others. For example, I have been writing to a convict in Texas for the past three years and, through a vast amount of research, I feel that she has been wrongfully convicted, so on top of a day job, my writing and the like, I’m also trying to get her a trial. My motivation is my passion for helping others.
9.) Have you had the chance to really read through D.I.N Mag? We pride ourselves on informing our readers on every aspects of the masculine community. Have you learned anything from reading it that you hadn't known before?
I think D.I.N. Mag is very important for the LGBT community and society at-large because you are educating everyone on a section of the community that definitely gets left out and forgotten. I don’t feel like many people know as much about doms as other types of lesbians – like femmes, lipstick lesbians, and the like. Most people have heard of the term “butch” and likely associate more dominant traits to that label, but there is obviously so much more to doms than that. I’m learning a lot from D.I.N. Mag already – like differences between “hard-core” and “pretty-boi” doms, for instance. Keep doing what you’re doing! Education is key!
10.) Is there any advice that you would like to give to our readers who are in the process of self-publishing or just following their passion for writing and speaking up for what they believe in, as you have?
In terms of self-publishing, I have had a crazy path. I didn’t have much money when I started and was able to invest $300 in a shoddy self-publishing option that left me with a less-than-professional looking product at the end – that was the first edition of Queer Greer in 2009. When I was ready and able to invest a bit more money, I moved to an indie publisher that helped me revamp my book completely with a new round of edits, a professional cover design and a marketing plan. This path is not for everyone, as it can get pricey. There are also e-publishing options that barely cost a dime. If you are thinking of self-publishing, make sure you research companies that have clout. Be willing to get out there and market your title on your own. Just remember that marketing and PR is the keys to your success. Fortunately, with social media, these days it can be somewhat easier to find the audience you are looking for.
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